Reminder: Be Happy

via Pinterest

Cleaning out the inbox this AM and opened all the lovely Happy Birthday emails from smart email marketers over at places like Sephora, Virgin Atlantic, CVS, and especially Capital One. Capital One gave me a special reminder in their email that I have to share with you all.

For those without patience  to watch the beautiful little video below, here’s the gist of it:

If there was a scale that went from miserable to really, really, happy, where would you be?

You don’t really have to answer.

But consider this: the people who say they’re miserable are usually comparing themselves to someone they think is better off. While the people who are happy usually don’t compare themselves to anybody at all. They just look around themselves and inside themselves and they like what they see.

If you’ve been trying to keep up with the Joneses maybe you should give yourself a break. In fact, invite the Joneses over for a barbecue. Tell them how happy you are to have them as neighbors. They might just feel the same way about you.

And you might just end up agreeing that the happiest people in the world aren’t those with the most money. They’re the ones with the most friends.

Thank you Capital One for the reminder, and the smile on my face!

Comedy & Boat Parties

I guess I should be joyful that my birthday is this week? Meh, I don’t know. I’m a bit unimpressed with turning one-year-closer-to-30, but I’m going to try to make the best of it.

Since my sister’s graduated, come home, and not paid attention to me, I’ve decided to reassess my fun-o-meter because I’m only getting older here and life’s too short.

Moreover, I kicked off my birthday week with an awesome weekend full of comedy and a boat party! Firstly, I must recommend Levity Live at the Palisades Mall.

Comedian/acquaintance, Mark Demayo, hilarious BTW – def worth seeing, headlined at Levity, and so when I was casually invited to a show this past Friday I couldn’t resist. I got to see headliner Aries Spears, who was amazing. Among the many impressions he graced us with, he also performed this freestyle – the man impersonated LL Cool J, Snoop Dog, DMX and JAY Z …to a tee.

Close your eyes while you listen, he is completely on point. The Jay Z verse especially:

Regarding a boat party? Awesome things happened aboard the Noise/Be Magnifico boat Sunday night, most of which were captured in several vines, like this one and this one. Beautiful views and unlimited drinks. How can any of that be wrong?

courtesy of @mandoonyc on instagram

courtesy of @mandoonyc on instagram

In short, I’m really just turning 25 again right?

Today on the Train: Heat Wave

As if the unbearable weather changes haven’t screwed with us enough, we are now in what is estimated to be a 4-day heat wave.

That’s right folks! Let the whiny, bitchy, sweaty princesses of NYC (not excluding myself,) start their rants of FB posts/tweets (hashtag heatwave), Instagram #selfies (#poolside, in #flipflops, #RayBans, and #IcedCoffee,) and blog posts about how disgusting and uncomfortable this wave will be.

I digress.

Today on a crowded, recently re-railed, 1 train I witnessed several people sweating profusely. May I suggest some remedies to your heat wave symptoms?

1. Definitely, please, don’t pass on the deodorant.

2. Skip the starchy button up, go for a very light cotton shirt.

3. Don’t run. Anywhere. Just take your time and tell your boss there are train delays.

4. Carry a water bottle in hand – take a swig when you’re feeling overheated.

5. For those that perspire from simply breathing: carry a towel in your back pocket for wiping sweat. Wiping your beads of sweat with the hand you’re also using to hold on to the bars on the train…is gross and so unsanitary.

6. Imagine yourself being hosed down with cold, cold water like this elephant.

JCPenney & Hitler

Did you guys hear about this? This JCPenney billboard in California?

[click to read more]

Apparently, everyone driving by it thinks it has a “striking resemblance with Adolf Hitler. It honestly took me a while to really see it, and now that I do… I can see why people would think that.

But Jesus, talk about beating a dead horse. Poor JCPenney is already struggling so much with their consumers. Why punish them for a design resemblance that’s a real STRETCH of the imagination to begin with? I agree, maybe not the smartest product to feature on a gargantuan billboard, but why don’t we cut them some slack this time around?

If you don’t care about owning a really cool tea kettle that, when stared at for a long period of time, might maybe resemble Hitler, it’s available on JCPenny.com for $40.

Weekend Finds

During a Memorial Day Weekend (MDW) shopping extravaganza we scoured the new and fab Ridge Hill outdoor shopping mall, during which I discovered a couple of hidden gems that I just had to share with you.

Among the H&M’s, Victoria Secret’s and Apple’s, we stumbled into Charming Charlie, the amusement park of accessories. They literally carry everything from tiaras to handbags, and everything in between.

While I didn’t purchase this tiara, I fell in LOVE with it, obvi.

I also picked up these sweet little necklaces; a mini engagement ring and “love”.
Do you love?

Thanks to MDW sales, we also stumbled into the Gap where I found another hidden treasure: Gap nail polish. These pups were on sale at $3 each! Not sure what the name of the Orange polish is but it dries a darker Creamsicle or Apricot – perfect for the Summer. I’m totally in love with the color, but also with the style of the bottle.

I think that the best DIY mani is all about how comfortable you are with the brush and the shape of the head of the bottle, am I right? This big(er) squircle head, compared to Essie’s for example, fits perfectly within my fingers for optimal application! 

Who knew the Gap carried nail polish? 

Today on the Train: Jelly Flats

Are Jelly Flats really actually back? Did they ever go anywhere?
OR was this just a total mirage on the train this morning?

I can only remember fiending for this style of jellies years ago because they were THE COOLEST in Middle School. But flats? I mean, am I missing it?

Do I need a pair to truly understand? Or did both of these ladies fashion-faux-pas hardcore? I wonder if @LaPantin, for Glamour, has decided if she really loves Jelly Shoes or not?!

I mean I LOVE these Tory jellies, but I’m just not sure about any other style!? WHAT DO YOU THINK? 

On Traveling Alone

“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.”  ― Augustine of Hippo

My friends are dropping like flies on our big plan to escape to a Caribbean Island for a weekend in July and I find it incredibly unacceptable. Sure they’re dropping for medical reasons, but I still want and need a relaxing, super-sun, and beautiful-beach, getaway and if I have to go alone… so be it.

My friends seem to think traveling alone is inadmissible; thank god I don’t always listen to them. I march to my own drum, and guess what?

There is nothing wrong with traveling alone.
I’ve done it before, and will do it again because I don’t care what people think. I love hotels, and flying and discovering new places.

We see it in movies all the time: man needs some alone time, ends up at same resort as ex - Forgetting Sarah Marshall; four girls rob diner to send themselves on vacation…end up doing drugs and joining a drug lord in his endeavors to take out another drug lord (Spring Breakers.) Then there are normal folk, like moi, that simply want to lay on a beach with an IV drip of alcohol and food.

Everyone just wants to ESCAPE. Alone, or with friends, out of desperation or relaxation, they just want a breath of life-paused even if just for a couple of days.

Even Carolyn Gregoire, writer for HuffPo, agrees on her post on
“Traveling Alone: 5 Stress-Relieving Benefits Of Solo Journeys”:

John Steinbeck once said,

“People don’t take trips -– trips take people.”

A solo trip, in particular, can have lasting benefits…some of the best travel memoirs ever penned tell stories of travelers finding themselves while getting lost on their own.

Carolyn explores the following solo-journey benefits:

1. Opportunity To Cultivate Mindfulness
2. Alleviate Depression
3. Foster New Social Connections
4. Relax As Much As You Want
5. Plenty Of Time For Reflection & Introspection

In conclusion, with help from either Groupon Getaways or Living Social Escapes, with friends or without, I will be laid up on a beach and island I’ve never been to, in July for a weekend. I will be super happy, super relaxed, and super stress-free.

I Actually Love Lucy

Thanks to my recent Optimum – Cablevision upgrade to “Gold” I now have all these ridiculous channels I’ve never had before. I did the upgrade for Showtime & Shameless but apparently upgrading entirely versus JUST the Showtime channel is a great deal — so obviously I had to GO GOLD.

Among my new channels is the Hallmark Channel, which, to my inner child, is incredibly exciting; mostly thanks to the marathons of I Love Lucy.

Black and white TV shows are so fun to watch. I feel as though they keep me grounded and keep the many many privileges I have in perspective. Take for example, cell phones. Had Lucy had even a basic mobile phone, or a more-mobile form of communication, she could have saved herself from so many mishaps with Ricky.

And things like saving money, or just having money. Both Lucy and Ethel were LUCKY if Ricky or Fred let them spend money. Anti-feminist as it sounds, I wouldn’t mind not having to work every once in a blue. Only spending the money I’m given? I think it makes us more humble and grateful for the small things we can buy with that money.

Anywho… I really do LOVE Lucy. Thank you Optimum and Hallmark. Thanks to you both I can enjoy all of these episodes and moments all over again.

Dear Lindsay Lohan

Can you please get it together? What is it about your life that you hate so much? Get the rehab and all the judge and court sh*t over and DONE with and just get on with your life! Why do you insist on prolonging this? Aren’t you tired of looking so drunk and high all the time? Don’t you miss looking clean and beautiful!? 

Here we all thought that your role in “Liz and Dick” may have been your big comeback, but no… like the greedy addict that you are, you had to fall down again and disappoint us.

I think I speak for everyone on this planet, that is a regular media consumer, when I say that we are tired of hearing that you stole something else, that you’re a chain smoker, that you wear an alcohol-monitoring and tracker ankle bracelet, or that you are fleeing rehab. We’re the same age, or rather, I’m a couple of months shy of your age, 26, and don’t seem the least bit concerned about your future.

BREAKING NEWS: as of 10AM this morning, you’ve returned and successfully checked into rehab. Applause, applause. Let’s see how long this lasts.

It’s pathetic and such a poor example for young women our age. Ya know what?Don’t even do it for us, because you obviously don’t care, do it for yourself! Give a sh*t or two and just put it all behind you.

xo, Suaz

 

 

 

Champagne Papi

Hey Drake, I recently stumbled on your instagram, @champagnepapi, and your uploads make me wish we were friends, maybe even like dating. Maybe married?

You’re a mixed-race Jewish rapper/singer that thinks he’s a Puerto Rican “papi” ball of hotness. I love it, and not in a sleazy “murdering” Amanda Bynes kind of way.

Call me, maybe?

“Tour on my mind”

“Pree dem a pree. Tr8ness”

“Earl Sweatpants”

“Tha Boy”